It’s fine, he can remember the hugs of his ancestors.

Correct but it requires an anal probe to function correctly. Plus the administrator needs to wear nipple clamps, nobody knows why it was programmed that way.

Real Australian Sci-fi: What if there was a woman named Muriel who loved Abba and went on vacation?

Tap credit card to parry, hold credit card down to block. Move credit card forward, down, down-forward followed by payment to shoryuken.

20.000 a year without hope or prospects.

No, we’re going to continue on this path until we have to suck the liquids out of your body to cool the data center

Just know that someone at one point in time jerked off to you or will jerk off to you. This is called the circle of life. For every creature there’s a creature that jerks off to it. But at the very top of the circle there’s a creature that no one jerks off to, that’s the apex masturbator.

Alright, if you have any questions have your email guy reach out to my email guy

I read your info on air. I had a listener come forth who said he had the exact same credentials as you, so you’re already a listener! Happy to have you! Tomorrow’s episode is about identity fraud, be sure to tune in!

If you reply to this comment with your home addres, credit card details and social security number, then I’ll reach out to you if one of my listerners leaves.

I’m sorry I can’t provide a link, I have enough listeners as is. Recently I became a victim of identity theft so I needed to make it very clear to my audience that I am in fact myself, so I start every episode by stating my home address, credit card information and social security number. A new listener is not a good idea. I suggest you find a nice conch and go listen to the sea, that always calms me down.

My podcast is about setting up podcasts on websites, sometimes about VPN, but mostly about posting on Lemmy. I’m doing a podcast right now.

I earn my paycheck with photoshop, premiere and lightroom. I am trapped in the apple ecosystem and I’m being held hostage by Adobe, an m5 macbook pro is the best way for me to edit pictures with on a 10 hour flight without the battery crapping out. If there was an alternative, I would buy it in a second.

I have 4 thunderbolt ports, good battery life, decent silicon but a shit OS that’s just slightly better than windows 11. Somebody please build an alternative that supports Creative Cloud because I’m tired of getting fucked in the ass.

Hell, while you’re at it build something open source to replace Creative Cloud and make it the industry standard.

The fruit fly manages to get out by uploading its consciousness into an IoT Fridge. Now the fridge constantly orders fruit, locks its doors, lowers the temperature and makes the fruit rot. The fruit fly cannot consume the fruit, yet it is filled with fruit, this is fruit fly hell.

I’m so tired of your shit Mr Guillemot. There’s no need for you to come in here and talk down to us. You’re the CEO of Ubisoft, you can literally do anything you want. Go fly a kite, go hug your family, go do something that brings you joy and please leave us poors alone.

No, that’s wrong. Here’s the correct saying: If wishes were horses than I horse you a wish cock up the ass.

If my children want to play with autistic mice, then that’s their god given god damn right.

-OP

Nah, they’re eating all the bugs that try to crawl into your nose and mouth while you sleep.

how did you manage to determine his sex?

we matched on hinge

Sounds to me like you need bigger and faster spiders.