I’m pretty sure I could take Winnie the Pooh. That mfer would be too busy getting his head stuck in a honey pot or singing songs about Heffalumps and Woozles… He’d never see me coming.

Can I have another invisible soda?

“Like most children, Andy Davis spent his days in an elaborate world of his own design. Grand adventures full of cowboys and space rangers, potato-folk and slinky dogs. But Andy’s about to learn what it’s like when the tables are turned and the player gets played with, here in The Twilight Zone.”

NBC News can fuck right off with this “experience” crap. They aren’t the Jimi Hendrix Experience, they’re a damn News outlet. Just load the text.

Yep, The Onion owns Infowars and Alex Jones is dead. He popped like a balloon after eating ten triple whataburgers, five fry boxes, and a milkshake.

Yep, here you go.

There are also a lot of other bangs. For example, !rt will redirect the search query to rotten tomatoes. It’s a pretty neat feature if you’re consistently searching for info from specific sites.

Yep, he definitely would. They never learn.

They will do that regardless. They always do. Hell, they already are doing it.

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That’s an awesome idea and I’m stealing it! Future me is going to love this, because there’s no way I’m going to remember that I set up this reminder.

Maybe a little too broad. Trump has a unique way of interpreting words.

Yeah, that’s definitely the most charitable way of phrasing it. I’d say he doesn’t understand any of them to begin with, and doesn’t have to, because the people who should be correcting him, aren’t. Words mean whatever Trump decides they mean now. Which is terrifying, because redefining words is fascism 101. There was just more internal resistance during his first term.

The dude’s so lucky that Adam Sandler likes to maintain an entourage of pseudo-talent. In any other universe he would’ve been working an endless string of dead-end jobs the moment he left SNL.

Right? If you aren’t interested in a gay marriage it’s incredibly easy to avoid entering into one. I’ve managed to go my entire life without being gay-married. Heck, I’m not gay-married right now! Yet despite what Fox News tells conservatives, there’s no gay mafia threatening or intimidating me for it.

That game (and its predecessor 2xtreme) were not nearly as fun as the premise sounds on paper, but I loved every second of them.

I don’t even want to guess how much my parents spent on rental fees for those two titles alone. It had to have been cheaper to just buy them.

I really miss how valuable those random ancient Reddit threads could be. But I don’t blame anyone for scrubbing their comments, hell, I did the same. And there’s only one greedy little pig-boy to blame for making people want to do that… Fuck spez.

Your story about buying a laptop reminds me of a scene from Parks and Rec when Ron Swanson’s picking up supplies for a project at a home improvement store.