Sonotsugipaa

If you throw it, and the dragon happens to be proficient in crowbar operation within fast-paced environments, it ain’t gonna end well

You’ll have to pry my ability to do stupid shit from my cold dead handsääääääää

Well, there was one episode of South Park about people who annoy you…

The experience here is 25 TB of javascript processed by a Turing-complete Rube Goldberg machine powered by a hamster on a wheel

LOBSTER?
WHERE!?!

I may be in the minority, but I think Halo should just be allowed to die.

shrek_not_gonna_happen.gif

343 has been trying to do “something new” (chasing trends, mostly) every time they didn’t remaster an existing game, it’s not necesssarily going to work out.

At this point Halo is just a brand, a franchise, a trademark to be slapped onto whatever the IP owners want to do with a popularity boost - the story (/ lore / narrative) has been brought to hell and back and to hell again, and the gameplay has been bent so much with each title that it doesn’t really have an identity anymore either.

CoD players won’t like it because it’s not CoD, Halo players will play it for a few hours because At Least It’s Kinda Fun I Guess™, everyone else will be like “Halo? Like, the one Jesus had?”, and whatever contractors Microsoft/Activision will hire won’t be given enough time, space or resources to cook something that is more than mediocre.

No, no, Halo has been Call Of Titanfall Strike: Global Offensive Theft Auto 2: Yet Another An Ancient Evil Awakens Worse Than The One Before in space since 343 took over

Halo became what it is now because they tried to turn it into CoD, so it couldn’t be better either

Couldn’t they just frame it as having reached the peak of what the Halo IP has to offer?

It’s not like shareholders know shit about fuck, and the community doesn’t even exist in Microsoft’s eyes

This is what happens when you the cat

or we end up with a JS-based start menu in Win11

You added the wrong vowel to consonant-ending words while doing a faux Italian accent

That’s covered by “being seen as an enemy of the state”

Time to pull a Francesco Schettino and run away in a most inconspicuous manner regardless of the consequences

That’s the neat part, I don’t

Well, like the work of art I drew upon, I ain’t perfect

It didn’t take long for the manosphere to fall: our enemy was ruthless. Efficient.
But they weren’t nearly fast enough, for [email protected] had already passed the torch.

And because of them, we found [email protected] (idr I’m going by memory alone), unlocked its secrets, shattered our enemies’ resolve.

Our victory — their victory — was so close, I wish [email protected] could have lived to see it.

But they belong to Lemmy.

[email protected]’s body, [email protected]’s comments — all banned and handed off to archive.org.

Everything.

… except their courage.

That, they gave to us.
And with it, we can rebuild.

Edit:
copy-pasted lightnsfw’s handle instead of the correct one for this hand-crafted copy-pasta, just kill me, end my self-imposed suffering